Ghosts part.2

The more I blog, the braver I get about what to blog. It may get to the point where I blog deeply personal stuff for the whole world to see. So far I have talked in general terms (by my standards) about many things, but as long as I do that, my blog is limited in the help and encouragement it could be to someone else. I want the blog to help people.

So here it is, the list of ghosts. The things that make my heart sink as I come across them during the course of my day. Anyone else who has been in a similar situation to the one i find myself in will know the feelings evoked when seeing those things connected with the one you love. This may seem like wallowing or self-pity, but its not, its simply part of the grieving process and as my blog description states, I do not hide things.

I have a theory that writing out those things which hurt me or give me feelings of loss might actually be a help in overcoming them. I was going to write it somewhere private, but I figured it makes little difference if i post it, and it may (if my theory works) encourage someone else. Most people's method of handling this is to destroy (or put in a box somewhere) the things connected with the other person. My intention is to learn to live with them. We are not enemies, we're trying to restore our relationship to best friends status just like it was before. Some people say it can't be done, but I know it can, I've done it before. Watch and learn people...

This list is likely to change so i will be updating it as time goes:

• Bottle opener on my keyring (my Ghosts poem should make more sense to everyone now)
  
• toothbrush
• melted candle
• sweatshirt in my closet
• my webcam
• CKin2U
• 12 dried red roses hanging from my curtain rail
• cemetary road
  

Ghosts

So I'm in the airport sat in the lounge by gate 24. I don't know what's up with my phone. Just like it was the whole trip, it still won't give me a network, yet on the way there it did. Very annoying! It makes me nervous, as I may need to make a call soon, and if it doesn't work there it could be a problem.
I successfully escaped talking to anyone on the flight, and strangely I fell asleep whilst watching a second movie. I didn't sleep long, it must have been half an hour maximum, but I slept. We'll see later if such a short sleep is enough to mess up my body clock totally.

On the flight I wrote this. Right now it looks like a poem (which i have been known to write on occasion), but it may become a song sometime.

Ghosts
Spaces where you used to be
now taunting the longings of me
and Pisa doesn't open a bottle
No, Pisa commences the battle
a battle of the mind
where in it I find
its warriors – your ghosts
I'll try not to fear them
but rather endear them
precious
perished
memories
cherished