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Sunday, May 26, 2019
People Behind The Meeples - Episode 166: Jonathan Woodard

Welcome to People Behind the Meeples, a series of interviews with indie game designers. Here you'll find out more than you ever wanted to know about the people who make the best games that you may or may not have heard of before. If you'd like to be featured, head over to http://gjjgames.blogspot.com/p/game-designer-interview-questionnaire.html and fill out the questionnaire! You can find all the interviews here: People Behind the Meeples. Support me on Patreon!
| Name: | Jonathan Woodard |
|---|---|
| Email: | woodardj@gmail.com |
| Location: | Boulder, CO based, but playing "digital nomad" in Europe in 2019 |
| Day Job: | Fractional CTO; I help technology businesses build strong engineering teams, software, and process. |
| Designing: | Over ten years! |
| Blog: | https://woodar.dj/ |
| BGG: | Jonathan Woodard |
| Facebook: | facebook.com/woodardj |
| Twitter: | @woodardj |
| Instagram: | @woodardj |
| Other: | I use a lot of those, but don't have public profiles on any. |
| Find my games at: | GenCon, then Essen! Also online: Potemkin Empire on Kickstarter Potemkin Empire on BGG Time Chase on BGG |
Jonathan Woodard
Interviewed on: 1/14/2019
Jonathan Woodard has been designing games for a while now, and has his first two published games coming out this year. Right now, on Kickstarter, you can find Potemkin Empire with Indie Boards & Cards and later this year Time Chase will be available from Renegade Games. Be sure to check out Potemkin Empire right away; it only has a few more hours on Kickstarter!
Some Basics
Tell me a bit about yourself.
How long have you been designing tabletop games?
Over ten years!
Why did you start designing tabletop games?
I recently found some of my earliest designs (~ late middle school / 1996), and I think it was because board games were just… what I was doing a lot of — Hero Quest, Dark Tower, The Omega Virus, and Magic: TG were a few of my key early inspirations, and I was just driven to *make something*, so that's what I made.
What game or games are you currently working on?
A tile laying game about Harris Hawks, a game called Weathercasters about meteorologists who are also wizards, a game about the destruction of Gaul during the Gallic war, and a few others still very early.
Have you designed any games that have been published?
Two games signed, releasing this year (2019… likely GenCon & Essen)
What is your day job?
Fractional CTO; I help technology businesses build strong engineering teams, software, and process.
Your Gaming Tastes
My readers would like to know more about you as a gamer.
Where do you prefer to play games?
With friends in someone's home, or at a bar!
Who do you normally game with?
I've got a group who played through all of Rise of Fenris together, and occasionally for stuff like Terra Mystica, also lots of exploring new games with my designer friends from Denver's Prototopia group, and some 2p stuff (Odin's Ravens, Fox in the Forest) with my wife at breweries.
If you were to invite a few friends together for game night tonight, what games would you play?
I've been really wanting to give "Root" a try.
Do you like to have music playing while you play games? If so, what kind?
A have a friend who always puts on "cinematic" movie soundtracks while we're playing stuff, which is rad, but I never think to do it myself.
What's your favorite FLGS?
I love Vault of Midnight in Ann Arbor Michigan, but I'm struggling to find a favorite in Colorado.
What is your current favorite game? Least favorite that you still enjoy? Worst game you ever played?
Rise of Fenris really let me connect with Scythe at a new level, which was great,
What is your favorite game mechanic? How about your least favorite?
Flexible economies are 🔥— the resource tracks in Power Grid and Wealth of Nations are some of my favorite applications of real-world concepts in tabletop gaming. Also anything where there are clever side-effects of the primary actions you choose. I'd say I'm pretty shit at anything that involves linking a lot of complicated combos together; I might be the worst M:TG player I've ever met, so I get frustrated with those. Also anything where there's a lot of everyone-plays-on-their-own-mat… I like the interaction and verification that people (me, mostly) aren't making silly mistakes with their turns.
What's your favorite game that you just can't ever seem to get to the table?
I've been trying to get Wealth of Nations back to the table for almost three years…
What styles of games do you play?
I like to play Board Games, Card Games, RPG Games
Do you design different styles of games than what you play?
I like to design Board Games, Card Games, RPG Games, Video Games, Other Games?
OK, here's a pretty polarizing game. Do you like and play Cards Against Humanity?
How long of a response can Google Forms fit? My opinion on this game is incredibly nuanced — The game can be super fun in the right crowd, but I think the mechanisms and choices of what they include on some cards have set up a lot of people to express their worst selves and make all sorts of awful jokes during gaming, but I'm stoked about the pro-social efforts the company is backing with their money-printing machine. I also think that the fun this triggers is a really base dopamine hit, and it just presses that button over and over again, which makes it really hard to play anything more cerebral after — game night turns into that science study where the gerbil starves to death because it just keeps hitting the 'orgasm' button and ignores the 'food' button.
You as a Designer
OK, now the bit that sets you apart from the typical gamer. Let's find out about you as a game designer.
When you design games, do you come up with a theme first and build the mechanics around that? Or do you come up with mechanics and then add a theme? Or something else?
I usually get inspiration for games from the world around me (real-life systems with interesting interactions, etc.) and I put them into my Catch Sheet (https://woodar.dj/blog/catch-sheet/) to let them stew while I work on other stuff. So a little bit like theme-inspired-mechanics, if you will. I also wrote an 8-part blog series on why it's more important to consider the Player Experience (https://woodar.dj/blog/player-experience-px/) rather than either of these approaches.
Have you ever entered or won a game design competition?
I have! I submitted a design for the Letter Head contest with Atlas which won me a copy of one of their games and inclusion in the game's "DLC" if you will. My first signed game was also a result of entering the design contest at Geekway to the West last year. I didn't win, but the sponsoring publisher liked it enough that they chose to sign it in addition to the winning game.
Do you have a current favorite game designer or idol?
Tough to say! Sometimes when I see the clever interactions some of the 'modern legends' like Lang or Daviau or Stegmaier come up with, I just have to sit back in awe. I also have a ton of respect for Daniel Solis, and his commitment to designing and iterating in public via his twitter feed and Patreon. And I have to give a shout to Daryl Andrews, who hustles harder than just about anyone
Where or when or how do you get your inspiration or come up with your best ideas?
Being out in the world, and observing how systems operate in and around each other; consuming a rich array of media and inputs, and just trying to keep my mind fertile enough to let the ideas settle and germinate.
How do you go about playtesting your games?
I have a mailing list of local friends who have expressed a willingness to try my unfinished crap; there's also an invaluable designers/testing group in Denver called Prototopia that I've been a part of for a few years now. But while I'm traveling this year, 'how I playtest things' is a bit of an open question at the moment.
Do you like to work alone or as part of a team? Co-designers, artists, etc.?
I wish I could be a good co-designer, because I feel like some of the teamups we've seen recently have put out some really incredible stuff, but so far I've proven to be pretty terrible at it. Always something work on!
What do you feel is your biggest challenge as a game designer?
I struggle with cutting out cards… I find it so tedious and it drags me to a halt on almost every design that includes them, which is bad, because cards/decks are one of the most powerful components available to designers. I also find it really hard to ask people for things, so sending out a blast to my testers list to schedule things is sometimes a challenge.
If you could design a game within any IP, what would it be?
Been noodling recently on what a game based on two of my favorite 90s cartoons no one seems to remember might look like — either The Centurions or Dinosaucers. Or Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys. Really any television show that's been lost to time.
What do you wish someone had told you a long time ago about designing games?
Just f*ing do it, man. Build the prototype, get people to try it, keep iterating on it. And that publishers are very approachable if you just email them or attend a few conventions. If I'd actually gotten to the business of *designing games* instead of just scribbling in my notebook when I first started coming up with game designs… I'd potentially be a household name by now.
What advice would you like to share about designing games?
Make sure you have a really broad gaming and media 'diet' — the games you design tend to feel like the games you have familiarity with, and if what you play/hear about/see is limited, your creative design space will be too!
Would you like to tell my readers what games you're working on and how far along they are?
Games that will soon be published are: Two in 2019! One should be dropping at GenCon, the other hitting Kickstarter in the next few months.
Games currently crowdfunding: Potemkin Empire for just a few more hours!
Currently looking for a publisher I have: Trying to find one my earliest and most ambitious designs, Valour, a home now going on about four years. It's a game chronicling the Gallic War, from the perspective of Gaul; it highlights some of the Celtic Gaul's interesting ways of interacting and governing each other, in the face of an insurmountable invading force of Julius Caesar's Roman armies. It's competitive, but many mechanisms require either explicitly or implicitly to help the other players out.
I also have a lighter all-ages tactical game I'm shopping around, called First Snow! Where players team up to wail on each other during a snowday; it leverages some of the interesting characteristics of a snowball fight: The battlefield IS both the ammunition, and also any hope of a defensive structure.
I'm planning to crowdfund: Never say never, but… probably never.
Games I feel are in the final development and tweaking stage are: A shorter tile-laying/area control game tentatively called Harris' Hawk Hunt, where players are a family of Harris Hawks out on a hunt. I wrote a design diary about this just this month where I go into a lot of detail about that idea I mentioned previously, where my best ideas come from interacting and observing systems out in the real world: https://woodar.dj/blog/harris-hawk-designer-diary/
Games that I'm playtesting are: A bunch of stuff swimming in this space: A suite of games that interact with each other and can be played simultaneously (working, badly on my end, with a co-designer), a Viking-themed trading/economic game called Thingvalley, a game using weather-map symbology where players are spell-casting meteorologists called Weathercasters.
Games that are in the early stages of development and beta testing are: Something really cool and genre-shifting that I'm not ready to talk about just yet!
And games that are still in the very early idea phase are: Too many to list 😬
Are you a member of any Facebook or other design groups? (Game Maker's Lab, Card and Board Game Developers Guild, etc.)
Yeah, a bunch of those, but I try not to log into Facebook more than once a week or so.
And the oddly personal, but harmless stuff…
OK, enough of the game stuff, let's find out what really makes you tick! These are the questions that I'm sure are on everyone's minds!
Star Trek or Star Wars? Coke or Pepsi? VHS or Betamax?
Both excellent franchises but when the battle lines are drawn I'm definitely bringing a lightsaber. Pepsi, but I don't drink pop anymore. Gotta go with Laserdisc.
What hobbies do you have besides tabletop games?
Writing; building software; is Crossfit a hobby?
What is something you learned in the last week?
Sparkling wines made in Spain are called "Cava" — but the term was only invented after they joined the EU and became subject to France's laws of appellation; before that they just called it "Spanish Champagne".
Favorite type of music? Books? Movies?
I like lots of music, but find myself drawn to metal a lot, it helps me concentrate. And since it's such a divided genre, more specifically symphonic and folk metal. The best show I've ever been to was an Eluveitie show. Most of my reading is fiction, sci-fi or fantasy. Movies, I'm sort of all over the board.
What was the last book you read?
Mostly an audiobook guy; the last book(s) I listened to were N. K. Jemisin's "The Fifth Season" books. Really incredible works.
Do you play any musical instruments?
"Rhythm" and "Pitch" are two of my dump stats, so everyone is pretty much better off if I don't.
Tell us something about yourself that you think might surprise people.
I did two "Ironman" races in my twenties. A lot of people I've met more recently don't know that.
Tell us about something crazy that you once did.
Broke into the Michigan Central Station (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_Central_Station) which has been abandoned for decades; Climbed 17 flights of rotting stairs to the roof & took pictures all along the way. It's an amazing building, and was a relatively common "UrbEx" destination at the time, but still dangerous as hell.
Who is your idol?
Billy
What would you do if you had a time machine?
I'd see what humankind gets up to / looks like over the next 100, 1000, 10,000 years.
Are you an extrovert or introvert?
I think the term is ambivert? Sometimes I get super amped being in a crowd, and other times I just need to get the hell away from everyone. Both kind of recharge me, but depends on my mood.
If you could be any superhero, which one would you be?
Without dipping too far into spoilers, there's a certain appeal to Christian Walker from the Powers comic series, except that he seems to repeatedly forget everything. Otherwise, one who could read minds… Martian Manhunter or The Shadow?
Have any pets?
Negative.
When the next asteroid hits Earth, causing the Yellowstone caldera to explode, California to fall into the ocean, the sea levels to rise, and the next ice age to set in, what current games or other pastimes do you think (or hope) will survive into the next era of human civilization? What do you hope is underneath that asteroid to be wiped out of the human consciousness forever?
Tribalism, and the fear and hatred of people who are "different" — I'd hope such a catastrophic global event would force us to realize that we're all the same species trapped on the same rock, and we should act like it. I think games that didn't require a lot of storage or were easy to cart around would stick around — card games, etc. I also think we'd revert back to our species' storytelling roots, perhaps storytelling games & RPGs would become a universal pass-time, or way to share history.
If you'd like to send a shout out to anyone, anyone at all, here's your chance (I can't guarantee they'll read this though):
Can't overlook BeBo, who provided some much-needed advice and encouragement at a critical time in my growth as a designer.
Just a Bit More
Thanks for answering all my crazy questions! Is there anything else you'd like to tell my readers?
Be excellent to each other. 🚀
Thank you for reading this People Behind the Meeples indie game designer interview! You can find all the interviews here: People Behind the Meeples and if you'd like to be featured yourself, you can fill out the questionnaire here: http://gjjgames.blogspot.com/p/game-designer-interview-questionnaire.html
Did you like this interview? Pleasse show your support: Support me on Patreon! Or click the heart at Board Game Links
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. And be sure to check out my games on Tabletop Generation.The Untold Sad Story Of Erangel
Friday, May 24, 2019
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Missed Classic: Ballyhoo - Circus Minimus
I apologize for the small delay in getting this out. We've had "plague house" here at the local Infocom Marathon Headquarters and so much of my time has been spent either being sick, cleaning up after others being sick, or both at the same time. It doesn't make for the best head-space for writing about a fun-filled circus holiday. To compensate, I've made this entry a bit longer than usual. As they say, send in the clowns!
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| Has anyone seen my moongate? |
Last time out, I mapped out all of the circus that I could. This consisted of several circus acts including an animal menagerie; Andrew Jenny, the half-and-half person; Rimshaw, the hypnotist; Tina, the "fat lady"; plus the Big Top itself. A guarded turnstile blocked our way further south, presumably to the crew area. While exploring, I performed a hire-wire act in the empty Big Top, scoring me a lost child's balloon which I must be careful not to drop or else it will fly away. I need to solve some puzzles if I am to advance.
The first "puzzle" that I know of is more like copy protection. The ticket included with the game has tons of fine print on it, but most importantly that three sessions with Rimshaw are included with the price of admission. This includes palm reading, hypnotism, and head-bump reading. I'm going to start this week by cashing in my extras.
While the palm reading reveals nothing but that I am going to have an interesting night, the hypnotism is surprisingly effective. I am cast back, as in a dream, several hours to when the circus was in full swing and I am sitting in the audience. The place is packed and everyone seems to be having a good time. This is a fully interactive dream, so I can interact with it in the usual Infocom way. Suddenly, I hear a rumble and a growl. What could it be? I look around, only to realize that it is my own stomach. I am hungry! (I confirm this with the "diagnose" command, a nice throwback to earlier Infocom games.) Just in the nick of time, a hawker comes to the end of my row selling tofu and peanuts. I yell down that I would like some peanuts and he flashes me the price on his fingers. I pass down that amount of money, but the press of the crowd is too much. My food never arrives and the hawker is quickly lost in the press of the crowd.
I'm still hungry, so I go in search of my peanuts. The crowd is too thick to the west, but I can push my way through to the east. I'm told that the exit is that way and down which is probably a hint. I chase the hawker through several rooms, but never catch up with him. The crowded bleachers form a maze. When I can head in his direction, I do, but I try to find routes down or east when I cannot. Eventually, I end up at the entrance to the Big Top with no hawker, but there is a concession stand set up where I can purchase food. Just as I arrive a monkey-- a literal monkey!-- lands on my back. I can't get it off.
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| Cheeky monkey! (And a very important photo in the history of human-simian interaction.) |
Just being patient doesn't cut it, nor does switching to the shorter line. I have to trick the crowd: if I pretend to get out of line to go to the short line, but instead stay in the long line, the people will cross like lemmings to the other side and leave me with a straight path to the front. I am forced to buy a chocolate covered banana which leaves me with exactly $12.81 in my pocket. I know I'm on the right path because that is precisely the amount of money that I started the game with. There is so much good humor here; it's a very memorable sequence. Highlights for me are the realization that the audience members are shockingly born exactly one minute apart from each other (a sucker is, as they say, born every minute), plus the ribbing the game gives you as you pick the wrong line over and over again. It is clever enough to point out, for example, that the person you were standing in line behind just a bit ago just got there food. It's all quite clever and my favorite part of the game so far.
Unfortunately, I make the mistake of feeding the banana to the monkey. He stays on my back and I seem to be stuck. I restore and try instead to throw the banana. He jumps off my back to get it and I am finally free of him, even if I am annoyed about the dead end. Heading back into the circus, still without food, I pass the hawker taking a break near the entrance. He tells me that he eventually gave me a granola bar and the guy sitting next to me still has it. But I didn't order a granola bar! I need to go back in and get it off of him. I navigate the maze back to my seat and the sequence ends. I have ten more points! What was the purpose of that? Was there a clue to the kidnapping that I missed? I try playing through it all again, but I don't see a clue if there is one. Could there be something else hidden in the crowd?
I ask Rimshaw to read the bumps on my head and he tells me two interesting bits of information:
- For romance, a woman will soon come into my life.
- For travel, I will soon visit the grand canyon.
Since I doubt either of those things will happen in this game, are those clues to future Infocom adventures? Rimshaw comments that I like Infocom adventures (how true!) and tells me that his favorite game is Enchanter, so that seems to be a good possibility. I think this is too early for Plundered Hearts to be referenced, but could those be references to Leather Goddesses and Trinity? I have played neither so I have no idea.
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| A 19th century hypnotist. With angels for some reason. |
After failing to find a way to get the radio from the bearded lady or how to get past the elephant, I work on passing through the turnstile into the crew area. That passage is guarded by "Harry", a blind man inside of a repurposed (and burned-out) animal cage. We saw him let Chuckles and Thumb through in the beginning of the game, but he doesn't recognize me to let me through. Since he's blind, I can't just wear the clown mask. I'll have to come up with an alternative path.
As it turns out, Harry is a plethora of information about the rest of the circus staff. He'll talk to me about just about everyone, with two special exceptions. In my conversations with him, I learn that:
- Chuckles had a lot of pride in his craft, until… what? He doesn't say.
- Tina has tried to lose weight, but Munrab forces her to eat.
- The Roustabout fell out of the social safety net and Munrab is forcing him to live in a cage instead of a trailer.
- Jenny is trying to keep Andrew on the straight-and-narrow, but Andrew considers her a thorn in his side.
- Rimshaw is worthless and we shouldn't waste our money. (We already know that he's a skilled hypnotist!)
- Gottfried, the new lion tamer, is a glory hog and stays one step ahead of the ASPCA.
- Munrab, the owner, is struggling. His dreams are not panning out and he is putting the squeeze on everyone. The circus is dangerous because of his pressure and cut corners.
Harry has less interesting things to say about the remaining staff (like Comrade Thumb) and doesn't seem to know some names from the manual at all. I also learn that his blindness is caused by being mauled by one of the lions. He even shows me his scars. The two lions in the circus are Nimrod and Elsie. He pointedly tells me that Nimrod refuses the whip while Elsie can only be tamed by it. That won't possibly come in handy later. I should note that he'll only talk about this once so you better take good notes!
There is a small puzzle while talking to him, although it doesn't seem to lead anywhere. If you ask about Chelsea, Munrab's daughter, he tells you that he told you already. If you took good notes and realize that he didn't do that, you can argue with him, eventually ending in a volley of "did not" and "did so" just like in cartoons. If you switch and say "did so", he'll get confused ala the Looney Tunes and say "did not" and then finally he'll talk to you about Chelsea. At least at this point in the game however, all he says is that he hasn't seen her all evening. A little underwhelming for the mini-puzzle that I had to pass through to get that information, but at least it was fun. Pointless trivia: this verbal sparring was first used in the Chuck Jones cartoon, Rabbit Fire, in 1951. Nearly 70-year old gags are still funny!
Even after all of those interviews and the trick to talk about Chelsea, none of that helps and I have to keep exploring.
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| Yummy discarded granola. |
In my next explorations, I end up back under the bleachers in the Big Top. The entrance was moved since the stands have been put back into place, but I can now climb under the fabric of the tent on the Midway to gain access. Since I have been recently hypnotized, I recall where I was sitting and go there to discover the lost granola bar that the hawker tried (and failed) to give me. I could eat it myself, but knowing that the Fat Lady is trying to be on a diet, I go there instead.
In her room, she has been oblivious this whole time just listening to her radio. Her "room" is actually two connected rooms with her in the center. I am either on her left or her right, with passages to the northeast/southeast and northwest/southwest to cross to the other side. If I try to take the radio, she passes it into her other hand and I have to go to the opposite room to see it again. That much I had discovered last week. However, if I stand on the side with a free hand, I can give her the granola bar which causes her to notice me. She offers me her hand which I-- after a moment of confusion-- shake in a show of friendship. She puts down the radio in the process and I can head to the other room and grab it quickly, scoring a few more points in the process. Tina is portrayed as "simple" (my words, not theirs), a gentle giant, but it's not at all flattering. Yes, it's all for maximum pathos but it doesn't completely sit right with me, especially since we've now essentially stolen a radio from an adult child. I hope at least she enjoyed her granola bar; it probably came from the granola mines of the Great Underground Empire.
That said, the radio is (for now) useless and only plays static. There's an ad for a classical radio station that I mentioned last time so I follow the instructions to change the channel to AM 1070. That causes a brief burst of music before it returned to static. I try carrying the radio around the grounds to see if it gets reception somewhere else, but I never find any. It'll have to be a mystery for later.
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| They're finally here! |
Let's skip over another one of those impossible-to-narrate sections where I screw around with stuff and nothing much works, but I discover one thing: I can open the balloon and breathe the helium inside. Thanks to my new (and very brief!) high-pitched voice, I impersonate a clown much more effectively and manage to fool Harry. Even though he's blind, I put on the clown mask just to be on the safe side. He lets me through into the staff-only section of the circus. I hope that the mask is enough to fool anyone I might come across because I don't have the rest of a clown outfit handy.
There are only two "rooms" back here, but both seem promising:
- The east end has Katzenjammer's trailer. He's the new lion tamer. Both his trailer and an external baggage compartment are locked.
- The west end has a dilapidated trailer with a warped front door. I try to pry it open, but do not succeed. It too is locked. More on that in a second.
The other interesting bit is that there is a pleated cloth wall in the north west. By climbing under the cloth, I arrive back in the prop tent. I also spot a piece of wood that wasn't there before. In classic adventure game form, I reach down to pick it up and… well, I can't spoil the joke by explaining it. I guess we'll do a rare "screenshot of text"!
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| Profanity is funny! |
I head back and knock on the door of the trailer. Chuckles only glances at me a moment before letting me in, probably because I am still wearing Malcolm's mask. (What happened to Malcolm anyway that he lost his mask and hasn't been seen around the camp? Is that part of the mystery?) In a slang-ridden conversation-- all helpfully translated by the circus slang section of the manual-- Chuckles complains about "Johnny Tin Plate" (the detective) snooping around, but he's pretty sure he won't find their "grift" (illegal gambling) because you have to put "Annie Oakley" (ticket) under the old front. I file that information away. Comrade Thumb is also in there, but he mostly ignores me while staying on his bunk-bed. During the conversation, Chuckles pauses at one point to ask me to close the door, but he doesn't catch on that I'm not who I say I am and I'm not dumb enough to do more than nod along. I expect that speaking will ruin the disguise. I search and find an ashtray with some ashes in it. Further snooping reveals that it the ashes include some unburned newsprint with a large-font letter "M" on it. Could this be a sign that one of the clowns worked on a ransom note? I haven't seen the note yet, but ransom notes often use cut up newsprint, at least in detective fiction. After a few turns, he realizes that I am not Malcolm and kicks me out.
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| Text adventures seem old, but by this point we are only a year before Leisure Suit Larry. That version of blackjack (above) was one I spent many hours on as a kid. |
I took the bit about the illegal gambling as my next clue, so I search for the "old front" and find it quickly behind the elephant tent. When I slide my ticket under, a compartment opens up into a gambling hall where circus-goers and staff seem to be having some fun. I'm not sure how anyone finds out about this place to get in, but I'm sure word gets around the seedier circles. My options at seem to be poker and blackjack, but the game doesn't let you try poker as it is a private game. At first I think I can't play blackjack either, but it's just a verb problem. If you type "bet $1" (for example), the game starts.
This looks like Infocom's first minigame! It's actually quite simple, only using yes or no questions for all the game mechanics except betting. The maximum bet is $2 and I stick to that because I can always restore if I lose too much. I lose the first couple of hands, but soon the "won" hands stay about even with the "loss" ones. Blackjack is a fairly simple game, but I did not pay enough attention to tell if they accurately simulated multiple decks or did a new set every hand. The only missing feature is "splitting" hands. That's when you are dealt two of the same card and are given the option of splitting them into two hands (with additional bet) so that they can be played individually. Even Leisure Suit Larry had that, but it's not a huge deal. In the end, I can't really get ahead without save-scumming and nothing magical happens when I double my money. If there's a plot point here, I don't see it... until I quit.
As soon as I get up to leave, my character gets an impulse to play one more hand. That time, instead of playing as before, there are taps on our feet. It only takes one hand to realize that the taps are revealing the value of the dealer's hole card! That helps less than you might think and I still lose, but why is something helping me cheat? I sneak a peek under the table and it is Comrade Thumb! Is this his way to repay me for helping at the water fountain? The dealer quickly catching me looking under the table and realizes what is going on. He kicks both Thumb and I out of the gambling den and will no longer let me back in. I hope I didn't miss anything. I can always restore if need be.
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| We can't rewind; we've gone too far. |
With no further leads, I embark on another round of searching for new things to do. I start behind the elephant tent near the gambling hall and realize immediately that I must not have tried hard enough before. My first discovery is that I can climb the cage there and then clamber further onto the elephant's tent itself. It's dark and I don't have a destination in mind, so there's no place it lets me go. The one good thing is that the radio works up there! It does me no good immediately, but knowing the radio works with altitude could be a clue. Climbing down from the cage causes you to fall off and die. Just kidding, you just fall off and bruise your ego, complete with a fake death scene. Cheeky.
The cage itself was my next win. I had thought for some reason that the cage door was on the inside of the elephant tent, that I was seeing the rear, but in fact this is the front. Peering inside-- which I assume I could always have done but never thought of it-- I see a pair of keys on a nail. Using my tightrope-walking pole, I can poke in and grab the keys and slide them down to me. Not surprisingly, the keys unlock the cage door and inside is a makeshift home for a person. A bit dehumanizing perhaps, but he or she does have a nice pair of cassette headphones which I pocket. There is also a bucket of raw meat which I'm going to assume wasn't for him, unless we have a werewolf or something. The headphones have a location counter (currently 372) plus play, record, and rewind buttons.
I play the tape and at first don't notice anything funny. It's all Jimi Hendrix solos and the author didn't even bother to find the names of real Hendrix songs. But when I rewind and play from the beginning, there is the distinct sound of Rimshaw hypnotizing someone from locations 124 to around 250. Did Rimshaw use these headphones to hypnotize someone into kidnapping Midrab's daughter? Does the kidnapper even know that he or she did it?
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| No one will ever kill this radio star. Well, other than drugs. |
The keys do not just open up the the cage. Trying them around the yard reveals that they also open the gorilla's cage on the other side of the elephant tent. The gorilla's name is Mahler and he's not completely happy to see me invade his space. If I stay too long or get too curious, he "kills" me with a fate worse than death: permanently maimed and forced to act as a circus freak. I am able to locate a trap door hidden under the straw in his cage, but going anywhere near it results in that death. The solution turns out to be the music, although I'm not sure I should do this yet. If you play the headphones, Mahler will snag them off of you and calmly listen to classical music. (Hendrix is not his thing.) That lets me open the trap door, but it is empty except for a red ribbon. What is the significant of the ribbon? I have no idea. Unfortunately, Mahler destroys the headphones as soon as the music stops. I make a note of this detour, but I still expect that I'll need to hypnotize someone so restore back.
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| I did not wear a tutu while playing this segment. |
Leaving the menagerie, I find the detective slumped down on the midway. He's alive, but barely. It doesn't look like foul play, more like a drunken stupor. He's still holding his "cure-all" flask and will not let it go. I try to search his coat but I am told that I cannot while he is wearing. He's too heavy for me to get it off of him also and this could be something to come back to later, if I find some help. Is there a circus strongman around someplace? I was hoping that he had the ransom note in his pocket so I could compare it to the burned newsprint from the clowns' trailer.
Trying my key all over the place, I discover that it doesn't unlock any of the trailers or the main office, but it does unlike the storage compartment under the lion tamer's trailer. It also unlocks the lions' cage in the western ring of the Big Top. The storage compartment contains a bullwhip which I grab. I now have a whip, a chair, and a bucket of raw meat, plus access to a cage of wild lions. It's my turn to be a lion tamer!
Letting myself in with the lions, I discover a large podium in the center of the ring and a closed grate to the south. The lions won't let me near either. Although they are patient, I will get mauled if I stick around too long. My guess is that I am trying to "tame" the lions into letting me open the southern grate. From there, it's either a place that I need to go or that they do, although I'm not sure which yet. Throwing the meat around calms the lions a bit, but they still do not let me go near the center podium. They do let me open the southern grate, but the game thinks that I am stupid for trying to climb in there so I'm guessing that was not the right call. Instead of tossing the meat immediately, I try the whip and chair. I spend a lot of time trying to find the right verb for whatever real tamers do with their chairs, but I eventually give up. Instead, I crack the whip over each of the lions. This is the point where I should remind you-- and wish I had reminded myself-- of Harry's conversation about the lions. He said that Elsie could be tamed by the whip while Nimrod could not. Of course, I have no idea which is which and the game forces me to address them as the "shaggy lion" and the "smooth-bodied lion". When I crack the whip over the shaggy lion, he gets really angry and kills me immediately. When I crack it over the smooth one, she calms down and goes into her routine. My guess is that is Elsie. That isn't enough since she isn't so docile that she lets me past.
And I admit that here's where I took a hint. I was absolutely convinced that I needed to do something with the chair, but I could find no words that worked. In the process of looking up a walkthrough to see the command for the chair, I realize the real problem was that I didn't crack the whip three times. The first time is just the start of the act. If you want her to do more, you have to keep doing it. Once she has been "tamed" three times, we can now open the grate again. Why Nimrod lets us now and not before Elsie was tamed will have to remain an exercise for the player. With the gate open, I can toss in the meat and… then what? I find that if I leave the cage and come back, they naturally went through the grate to retrieve the meat and that is good enough for me to be able to close them in. Lions managed! Now I can finally search the center podium to discover a cigarette case hidden underneath. What good does that do me?
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| It's a mystery to everybody. |
With no other leads, I start working on the (literal) case. Harry is still my best source of information for things around the circus and he tells me that the case belongs to Andrew. I take it to Andrew Jenny's trailer and show it to both of them. Andrew doesn't respond, but Jenny throws a fit. She fights with her other half, somehow remembering that she was involved in something that she didn't want to be. Was she hypnotized? How do you hypnotize half of a half-and-half person? She reveals that Andrew and his "fellow thugs" are supposed to meet later this evening by Katz's trailer. Jenny (somehow?) chases Andrew out of the tent and they are gone. Andrew is involved in this but not Jenny? That's… logistically difficult. I'll just roll with it. This means however that the clowns, Rimshaw, Andrew, and Katz are all involved. Is there anyone besides Jenny that is not?
I climb the stairs in their trailer and quickly discover that they are fake intended to lift you over a partition into another part of the otherwise flat trailer. On the other side of the partition is Andrew/Jenny's half-and-half wardrobe with clothes that would make the Batman villain Two-Face envious. (Do you think he'll be showing up in Batman Returns?) In the wardrobe is two outfits and I take both. Searching their pockets, I also discover a veil. I have a feeling that this will be enough to impersonate the duo myself. Why would I do that?
And that's it for tonight. When I visit Katz's trailer, I am told that it is too early. I spend time instead searching for new things to do but largely come up blank. Here is what I'm still working on:
- I can't find a way past the elephant into its tent. I was thinking that I could catch a mouse with the cheese, but I haven't found one. Elephants hate mice, right?
- I can't wake up the detective or search him. He's still dead drunk on the fairway.
- I can't get into either the office or the lion tamer's trailer.
- I can't get the ribbon without destroying the headphones and I'm not certain I should do that yet.
This is a fun game, albeit a strange one. The circus-themed puzzles are unique for the games that we have played so far and that makes them somewhat more fun than they otherwise might be. Overall, the game is going a great job balancing out its humor with its darker mood. Not everything is perfect, but I'm pretty happy with the experience overall.
Time played: 6 hr 25 min
Total time: 7 hr 35 min
Inventory: mousetrap, President Taft, bucket, ribbon, skeleton key, newsprint, cheese morsel, ticket, headphones, gorilla suit, $19.81 (plus other stuff that I found but are storing such as the whip and stool)
Score: 120 of 200 (60%)
DE: Miserable Meat Mountain
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| Get. Cleaved. Hard. |
Today is a special day. Why? Because I'm posting about a hypothetical competitive list that I've been working on that features Coven. The idea of this list came from friends of mine in the competitive 40K circuit that has been actively discussing the validity of Coven. Personally, I think that Prophets have some of the strongest units in all of the Dark Eldar book. The 4++ across the entire army is absolutely insane considering all the buffs you can stack.
What you have here is a list that's capable of outputting a dramatic amount of firepower on top of having a huge amount of resilient, melee pressure that can move surprisingly quick across the battlefield. All Haemonculus units move 7" (Wyches move 8") across the battlefield where Talos can move a surprising 8". When you consider the fact that Talos can now Fly, you really to question all these massive, resilient meaty things are being thrown into your face in the most ridiculous way possible.
Here's the list, I'll go into detail below:
Miserable Meat Mountain
1993 // 9-11 CP
Black Heart Bat +5 CP
HQ:
Archon, Agonizer, Blaster = 91
Cunning, Living Muse
Archon, Agonizer, Blaster = 91
TROOP:
5x Warriors, Blaster = 47
10x Warriors, 2x Blaster, SC = 104
10x Warriors, 2x Blaster, SC = 104
10x Warriors, 2x Blaster, SC = 104
PARTY BOATS:
Raider, Dark Lance = 85
Raider, Dark Lance = 85
Raider, Dark Lance = 85
Raider, Dark Lance = 85
HEAVY:
Ravager, 3x Dissies = 125
Ravager, 3x Dissies = 125
Ravager, 3x Dissies = 125
+++
Prophets Spear +1 CP
HQ:
Urien = 90
Diabolical Soothsayer
ELITE:
10x Grotesques = 350
HEAVY:
Talos, 2x Macro, 2x Haywire = 99
Talos, 2x Macro, 2x Haywire = 99
Talos, 2x Macro, 2x Haywire = 99
>>>
So what you do here is take Alliance of Agony to enable the Diabolic Soothsayer on Urien. This automatically pays for itself and you can possibly get 2 more CP depending on what you roll. All in all, this makes your CP count 9-11 depending on hot your dice are on this roll.
Urien himself is pretty amazing. For 90 points, which is 15 points or so more than a regular Haemonculus, you get +1S and Ld. on top of the +1T for all units within 6" of him. He's fast enough to keep up with the rest of your army, is T6 because his aura also works on himself, and is incredibly difficult to kill because he halves damage coming into him. However, what makes him work is the rest of the units he brings along with him as part of your army. With his +1S/T aura, he makes all the Grotesques shielding him T6, 4++, 4W with FNP. Each of those beasts has 5 S6 AP-2 1D WS3+ attacks and that's going to do some serious damage to whatever they touch. The Talos is even more deadly because they are now T7, 4++, 7W with FNP with 6 S8 AP-2 2D WS3+ attacks each with an additional 2D3 Haywire Blaster shots. Sure, these hit on 4s, but it's still nothing to sneeze at, especially if you're a vehicle.
I can see a deployment strategy for these guys as Grots in front, Urien in the middle, Talos all around Urien. This gives him a Spear of Meat that he can drive directly into the heart of the enemy, making them shit their pants while your Kabal units do their thing. What makes a list like this work is that you cannot really ignore the cascading mountain of meat running into your lines. Sooner or later you'll have to deal with them and they're an absolute pain to deal with. If 10 Grots get into combat, they're going to throw out 50 high-strength attacks that are going to murder pretty much anything they touch. They're incredibly difficult to kill and they will beat out most things in combat easily due to sheer attrition and unit preservation. Unlike most fatty units, Grots don't die easily and so the overall damage of the unit will stay intact much longer.
In short, your opponents are left reeling from the damage that your firebase of Living Muse Ravagers and Raiders are inflicting, but they're too distracted to deal with them because of all the Coven units closing in. If they focus on the vehicles (and you should play the range-game here at first), they're also making a mistake. Hopefully, you've played smart enough to reduce as much damage as possible and watch your Coven units smash into his lines untarnished. This is Tough Decisions 101 and Dark Eldar plays this game much better than most. When it comes to pure pressure, I think Prophets is the way to go if you want to bring a melee force that can threaten anything from MEQ to Imperial Knights
Yes, I'm going to call this list experimentation Miserable Meat Mountain after the competitive Warmahordes Trolls list. It's a Black Heart Bat and Prophets Spear, so it's relatively easy to construct. Now, help me out with this grand experiment and field this list if you're capable of fielding this!














