Old blighty

The plane sat a while on the runway before a slot was available for us to take-off. During that time I fell asleep. I woke just as the plane began to move again. I'm so tired. As of now I have been awake essentially for over 21hrs straight and travelling for at least 11 of those hours. With tiredness comes a definite change as I begin to battle against memories. Memories of all kinds, along with plenty of “what if” type questions. Even before I boarded the flight and was wandering through the terminal I could sense temptations beginning to well up within me, temptations to return to old vices for comfort. There's an adrenaline rush that accompanies those temptations, and it feels good. It's not good at all, but it feels good, and i guess that's why we humans stumble so often. I resisted entertaining such thoughts but I recognised that they are there (for the first time since our relationship had started) and I am at war.
By the time I reach home I will have been awake for a full 33hrs straight. That's unless I can change my ferry ticket for an earlier one. I'm certainly going to try as a 5hr stop in Helsinki does not appeal AT ALL.